THE SOUND AND FEEL OF LUCIDITY
Dreams and spirituality are subjects that can quickly drift into esoteric gobbledygook. So, I wanted to start this website with something visceral – the sound and feel of lucidity.
We tend to think of our dreams as visual experiences. I’ve learned, however, that visual perception is actually a secondary aspect of dreaming. Raw emotion is primary and visual perception is secondary. You can sense this quite clearly when you awaken from a powerful dream. Yes, the visuals may have been compellingly vivid, but the emotional power of the dream is what stands out the most and stays with you through the day. When we examine the visuals of our dreams more closely, we can see quite easily that they are actually moving pictures that reflect the dominant emotional feeling of the dream.
Lucid dreams are ecstatic experiences. They are a reflection of an ecstatic vibration that is emanating from within the dreamer. One of my favorite dream writers is Patricia Garfield. In Pathway to Ecstasy: The Way of the Dream Mandala, a powerful personal account of lucid dreaming that she published in 1979, Garfield beautifully describes the reflective nature of lucid dreams and their underlying vibration (the italic emphasis is from her original text):
We tend to think of our dreams as visual experiences. I’ve learned, however, that visual perception is actually a secondary aspect of dreaming. Raw emotion is primary and visual perception is secondary. You can sense this quite clearly when you awaken from a powerful dream. Yes, the visuals may have been compellingly vivid, but the emotional power of the dream is what stands out the most and stays with you through the day. When we examine the visuals of our dreams more closely, we can see quite easily that they are actually moving pictures that reflect the dominant emotional feeling of the dream.
Lucid dreams are ecstatic experiences. They are a reflection of an ecstatic vibration that is emanating from within the dreamer. One of my favorite dream writers is Patricia Garfield. In Pathway to Ecstasy: The Way of the Dream Mandala, a powerful personal account of lucid dreaming that she published in 1979, Garfield beautifully describes the reflective nature of lucid dreams and their underlying vibration (the italic emphasis is from her original text):
"Yet, bit by bit, dream after dream, I came to the realization that the sounds and sensations of wind and water in my dreams are pictures of the sound-feeling that comes from within myself. It was not the wind or the water that produced the sound-feeling, nor was it a memory image of wind and water. It was, quite literally, myself. I was producing a shimmery sound-feeling that my dreaming mind formed into pictures of wind and water! . . . . The object that I saw and heard in my dream was a symbolic explanation for what my body was literally feeling and hearing – itself. Gradually, I found that other dream pictures were related to the sound-feel. The roar of a passing train in a dream, the powerful purr of a bus-train that approached, the buzz of a swarm of bees, the rumble of voices in a crowd, a burst of clapping hands – all these I came to recognize as variations of the sound-feel of my lucid dreams."
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Garfield’s description resonates with me because my lucid dreams are
always characterized by a palpable field of ecstatic energy and, quite often,
they also include sounds and visual images associated with high rates of
vibration. Here are some example dream
segments from my journal:
September 22, 2012
Dream 6 (6:55 AM). . . . Then the scene shifts and I’m on the ground. Three jet planes (including the large one) are in a very tight formation and they are flying very low to the ground. They roar right over my head, and I can feel the ground shaking and rumbling. Just after they pass over me, I have a flash series of realizations. I realize that I’m standing on an airport runway and that the planes are flying directly along the path of the runway as it stretches out ahead of me. Immediately on the heels of that realization, I become lucid and realize that I’m dreaming. I understand that I’m supposed to launch off the runway and join these planes in their formation. I realize that the entire setting was designed to trigger my lucidity so that I could have a lucid dream where I go flying. I never see my body during the dream (if I have one). I feel myself rumbling like a jet. I’m shaking and vibrating like a plane getting ready for take-off. . . . |
October 11, 2012
Dream 6 (6:36 AM). I'm flying a small plane by myself. I’m over the James Island area. My goal is to fly toward Folly Beach. I start flying into some rain clouds and the visibility gets bad. I decide to turn around. I even consider finding a place to land quickly. I'm focusing on the sound of the engines and suddenly realize that I'm dreaming. Knowing that I’m dreaming, I'm amazed at how real the engines sound. I feel a rush of energy on a cellular level. . . . NOTE: In my day life, I'm not a pilot and I have no clue as to how to fly a plane. |
Sammy says:
"Woooh! Here we go! Yea-ah!" |
June 21, 2014
Dream 2 (7:01 AM). Lucid dream! The setting is very urban. The visuals are very realistic and I start to contemplate the similarity between waking and dreaming consciousness. I’m walking on a sidewalk, with the street to my left and buildings to my right. I hear the beginning of “Feels So Good” by Van Halen where Sammy Hagar sings: “Wooooh! Here we go! Yea-ah!” This tips the scale and I become lucid. The transition to lucidity is smooth. I immediately start running down the sidewalk and I take off into the air. An older woman was walking toward me on the sidewalk. As I take off, I watch as she elevates into air as well and then floats back toward the ground. It is as if my lucidity impacted the entire dreamscape . . . . I then discover that it is very easy to fly higher if I take deep breaths. I start to take deep breaths and elevate myself above the height of the [buildings]. From this height, I can look over the buildings and see a much bigger skyline in the distance . . . . |
September 9, 2015
Dream 2 (5:40 AM). . . . I realize that I can make anything happen and I want to ride something fast . . . . Now it is like I’m inside a rocket launcher of some kind – something similar to a missile silo. I hear background noise that I associate with a rocket launch, including an announcer who says “T minus 4, 3, 2, 1”. I get excited as this countdown proceeds. Then I launch. Instead of launching through the atmosphere, however, I find that I am immediately among what appear to be stars. I see white specks passing by me quickly . . . . As I’m moving, it is unclear if I’m riding a rocket or if I even have a body – I’m just moving rapidly through space. I then hear a narration background voice that says something like: "you are never as free as you are in space". I start to notice, in my peripheral vision, that that there is a very bright star behind me. It seems too bright to look at directly. . . . |
While I am enthusiastic about lucid dreaming, I also understand that it is just one of many points of access to the ecstatic vibration of my Inner Self. What do I mean by “Inner Self”? It is a substitute term for “Soul”. I don’t think of my Inner Self or Soul as a person. I think of my Inner Self more as an intensely pulsating energy field. I also like this description from one of my teachers:
"Your emotional feelings are often transitory, but beneath there are certain qualities of feeling that are uniquely your own, that are like deep musical chords. While your day-to-day feelings may rise or fall, these characteristic feeling tones lie beneath. . . . Once you learn to get the feeling of your own inner tone, then you are aware of its power, strength and durability, and you can to some extent ride with it into deeper realities of experience. The incredible emotional richness and variety and splendor of physical experience is the material reflection of this inner feeling tone."
- Seth (Jane Roberts), The Nature of Personal Reality (1974) |
Author and dream teacher Robert Waggoner became familiar with this “inner feeling tone” concept from reading Jane Roberts’ books. In his own very insightful book, Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self (2009), he relates how he once became lucid in a dream, looked up to the sky, and asked: “Hey, I want to hear my feeling-tone!” His dreamscape responded beyond his wildest expectations:
“Suddenly, a tiny black dot appears in the sky directly above me. From it comes a barely perceptible humming. At first, it’s quite slow and quiet, but it seems to have a familiar sound to it, like a high pitched, vibrating Aaaahhh. Then the dot begins growing in the space above me. As it grows, the humming sound volume keeps sounding – louder and louder. AAAAAHHHHH!!! I can barely believe what I’m seeing and feeling. Simultaneous with the expanding volume, a distinct conical shape begins forming and growing outward from the initial dot and it’s headed toward me! The humming sound continues increasing, vibrating the space around me with enormous intensity, and as it does, the conical shape comes closer and closer. Now the humming AAAHHH sound feels like an immense vibrating energy and the sound increases to fantastic proportions. . . . My whole being is reverberating with this energetic, vibrant humming sound . . . .”
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Another means of approaching the “deep musical chords” of the Inner Self is through meditation. When practiced together, lucid dreaming and meditation create a virtuous cycle. With both practices, we are exercising the same inner muscles. Both practices connect us with our inner joy. My meditation practice is relatively informal and spontaneous -- I meditate when I feel inspired to do so, sometimes in the middle of the night. I don’t typically journal my meditation experiences, but I will occasionally do so after a particularly strong or unique experience. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ve noticed a strong correlation between the sound-feel of my lucid dreams and the sound-feel of my meditation experiences. Also, I’ve found that a lucid dream frequently follows a strong meditation experience. Here are some excerpts from my journal about meditation sensations:
May 13, 2011
Meditation Note. I woke up in the middle of the night. . . . I was experiencing a very pleasant meditative sensation in my skull. Intense spinning/vibrating. I could feel it in my ears. It felt like a river rolling in my head. I almost felt as if my entire head could melt – there was this sensation of rigidity melting away. |
October 5, 2011
Meditation Note. After lunch, I stretched out for a meditation. . . . After a few minutes, I started to notice some sensations that were new to me . . . . It was a subtle "tweaking" going on. If I had to locate it, it would be closer to the interior center of my head. It was very enjoyable and I felt good going with the flow of it. Eventually, I also started to feel energy flowing in my chest. I then began to feel a strong sweep of energy in my head. The thought that came to mind was the turning of the wheels of a locomotive. The energy was sort of chugging or churning and I could feel each strong sweep of it. When I came out of the meditation, I felt extremely refreshed and relaxed. |
January 25, 2012
Mediation Note. I had a good meditation experience as I went to sleep last night. I felt good energy flowing, especially around my head. I had the experience of popping bubbles of energy in my forehead. It was like popcorn kernels popping one after the other. Very relaxing. Felt really good. I had the sense that I was opening up more and releasing small pockets of resistance.
Mediation Note. I had a good meditation experience as I went to sleep last night. I felt good energy flowing, especially around my head. I had the experience of popping bubbles of energy in my forehead. It was like popcorn kernels popping one after the other. Very relaxing. Felt really good. I had the sense that I was opening up more and releasing small pockets of resistance.
February 6, 2012
Meditation Note. . . . . I felt strong, relaxing waves of energy cycling in my head. They grew in intensity throughout the meditation. I had the sensation that a vortex of energy was spinning in my head with greater and greater intensity. As the intensity grew, I could feel large chunks of resistance being released. Very hard to describe in words. As an analogy, I’m thinking of a swirling whirlpool of water that is swirling down a partially blocked drain – my sense was that the whirlpool was growing in intensity, which enabled it to clear away debris in the drain (or maybe even widen the sides of the drain itself). |
I’ve introduced the “feeling tone” or “sound feel” concept early in this website for a reason. It points directly at what I perceive as the main purpose of my both my dream practice and my meditation practice -- the opportunity for me to become more acclimated to my Inner Self’s ecstatic vibration of unconditional love, appreciation and excitement.
While dreams and meditation are wonderful tools, there is an even more direct route to accessing the ecstatic vibration of the Inner Self -- by following your excitement. The idea of following your excitement in widely advocated (to the point of being ignored as a boring platitude), but is not widely practiced. Following your excitement involves trusting your inner guidance and acting on your inner impulses – when you do so, you can feel the energy of your Inner Self pulsating through your body.
In one of my lucid dreams cited above, my lucidity was triggered by Sammy Hagar screaming the opening of “Feels So Good”. Hagar is one of my recurring dream figures. Around 2010, I began to contemplate the idea of publishing a website or blog related to my interest in spirituality. I was extremely excited about the idea, but I repeatedly found myself making so-called “practical” excuses for delaying the project. In the fall of 2011, I had the following “Sammy Hagar” dream (this is a non-lucid dream):
While dreams and meditation are wonderful tools, there is an even more direct route to accessing the ecstatic vibration of the Inner Self -- by following your excitement. The idea of following your excitement in widely advocated (to the point of being ignored as a boring platitude), but is not widely practiced. Following your excitement involves trusting your inner guidance and acting on your inner impulses – when you do so, you can feel the energy of your Inner Self pulsating through your body.
In one of my lucid dreams cited above, my lucidity was triggered by Sammy Hagar screaming the opening of “Feels So Good”. Hagar is one of my recurring dream figures. Around 2010, I began to contemplate the idea of publishing a website or blog related to my interest in spirituality. I was extremely excited about the idea, but I repeatedly found myself making so-called “practical” excuses for delaying the project. In the fall of 2011, I had the following “Sammy Hagar” dream (this is a non-lucid dream):
September 14, 2011
Dream 1. I’m at a concert. Milli Vanilli is part of the main act. Sammy Hagar (possibly with Van Halen) comes on stage later as the supporting act (during the dream, my understanding was that the second act to come on was the supporting act, even though that is not how it typically works). I hear Hagar sing a couple of songs. I sing along to “I Can’t Drive 55”. . . . [My perspective shifts from being in the concert crowd to having an aerial view of the concert crowd]. The crowd has been organized into a shape, such that there is a large area in the middle of the crowd that is unoccupied and the unoccupied space is shaped like an arrow. The arrow points toward the stage. Occasionally, a few people walk from one edge of the arrow, across the center, toward another edge—as this happens, the arrow does not look as clean, but it still maintains its general form. |
Upon first recording this dream, its symbolism was not clear to me. But, when I re-read the dream the following year, I suddenly found the symbolism to be obvious and powerful. In case you are not familiar with Milli Vanilli, they were a musical act that had several hits in the 1980s and 1990s. However, they are also infamous for having their 1990 Grammy award revoked! This happened after the producer behind the project admitted that the purported lead singers were actually lip syncing the vocals. I hold no judgment against Milli Vanilli. But, at least in this dream, Milli Vanilli clearly represents the idea of being fake, insincere or inauthentic.
Our dreams often present us with a juxtaposition for purposes of clarity – in this case, Sammy Hagar is juxtaposed with Milli Vanilli. Hagar has always been one of my favorite musical artists (yes, indeed, I am a cultural product of the 1980s!). For me, he represents originality and the idea of unfiltered self-expression, or “singing your heart out”. This dream concert represented my life, with Milli Vanilli being my “main act” and Sammy Hagar being my “supporting act”. This was reflecting the fact that I was presenting something of a false self to the world. My inner life was alive with intense and intriguing experiences, but I was holding these experiences very close to my vest, sharing them only with my wife and a few select others. I knew that dreams and metaphysics represented my highest excitement, but I was holding myself out to the world as a more conventional “businessman”, largely out of fear that others would reject or judge my unconventional beliefs and my unconventional teachers. The arrow image that forms within the crowd is pointing me to the stage, encouraging me to unabashedly express myself like Sammy Hagar screaming lyrics at the top of his lungs.
When I finally got around to writing and designing this website, I could feel incredible energy running through my body. I knew that this energy was the frolicking energy of my Inner Self, finally released from my earlier blocking and delaying of the expression of my passion and excitement.
Van Halen, "The Best of Both Worlds" (1986)
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